Stuff you DON'T see the first time

Episode 8 news ticker

hossua34 — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:46:00 GMT

-PATIENCE- ...and that's exactly what you had to show, before my lazy ass finally posted these last two tickers. Now with 30% more authentic spelling errors. --- …-W5N- Crusty blue collar comic “Scrapes” McBarrelbottum gets the kit shicked out of him by man claiming he might be Ned Reck while cursing Phish bass ackwards during a Fuddruckers gig in Otto--wa? -W5N- Balled ego/testical frozen waffle wearing flip flops turns hot shoe on its ear scripts Flip Wilson skate park bio-pic with McTwist -W5N-...(read more)

Episode 7 news ticker

hossua34 — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:17:00 GMT

-HEALTH- This episode's news scroll flies by so amazingly fast, it's almost invisble!!! Even I couldn't believe quite what I'd read when I read it. Seriously... crazy stuff. I mean, like wow man, wow. Scroll all the way down to read it, or get left out... AGAIN... .. . . . . . . . . . . . Actually there is no news ticker in episode 7. Guage-face reporter guy just introduces his uglyass daughter, Lashiqua Mae. This whole blog entry has been a SCAM! a RIP OFF! a...(read more)

Episode 6 news ticker

hossua34 — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 01:23:00 GMT

-HISTORY- Split over three rapid-fire segments, the first very slow, and the second two very fast. In the second screen, the slash mark denotes a place in the cycle where the scroll just abruptly changes back to the beginning. It almost seems like they decided whatever they put there, they just couldn't get away with after all, so they cut the scrolls together. --- …the road -W5N- All is calm and uneventful -W5N- All is uneventful and calm -W5N- No one has been alerted to… …of reaction...(read more)

Backwards messages in "Time" episode

hossua34 — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 01:17:00 GMT

The writers of Wonder Showzen are back at it with their crazy-ass backwards speech fetish. In the recent episode TIME, Chauncey tries to dig to China and ends up in Hell. The speech of the hell demons, not surprisingly, is backwards English. Below is a link to a recording with all of the highlights... listen at your own peril. Surprisingly, the seemingly backwards phrase Chauncey utters when it says "Hail Baby Kramdar" says absolutely nothing when reversed. *Update! That link quickly became...(read more)

Episode 5 news ticker

hossua34 — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 16:15:00 GMT

-DIVERSITY- Shalom. --- -W5N- Congress approves use of attack monkey -W5N- Injustice Center opens up in Washington D.C. -W5N- Woman asks Man: “Do you know what a turkey sandwich is? Would you like me to do that to you?”…He cries -W5N- In ‘Same Old Same Old’ news…Nature ripped a new one by corporations. Public outcry one lone teardrop -W5N- Baby’s First Matches banned from local nursery -W5N- Bastard reclassified as a-hole -W5N- W5N sued by Water 5 Network -W5N- Mysterious animal discovered -W5N-...(read more)

Episode 4 news ticker

hossua34 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 17:31:00 GMT

-DIVERSITY-

This episode's news ticker is just a fuckin' riot. Unless you're trying to read it at normal speed... Interesting line of the week: "first letter of news scroll turns out to be code". If any "kid" manages to decipher the so-called "code", let us know.

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...Courts to rule on legality of Number and Letter union -W5N- Tiger found trapped in well. -W5N- Little boy still missing -W5N- Cutter told body is temple cuts temple -W5N- Impregnated goat gives birth to a notion -W5N- Notion irritates nation -W5N- Societal rug pulled out from under nation’s mental feet with metaphorical union -W5N- Beauty called into question as colors of rainbow battle with each other -W5N- Sexy dog calendar tops the calendar charts for third month in a row. Will go platinum -W5N- Stay tuned to W5N for updates on Regie’s midnight… … Will go platinum -W5N- Stay tuned to W5N for updates on Regie’s midnight dilemma -W5N- Chrome Ghost released into captivity. Victims outraged -W5N- News scroll loses control. Flies off screen. Hurts family pet -W5N- Kid slows down scroll. Gathers clues. Finds treasure -W5N- World’s most beloved largest donkey goes to world’s smallest department store -W5N- Mexico chooses flavor of the month. Oppression -W5N- Threat decreased to suggestion -W5N- Poet laureate of the internet named. PFFR fourpeats -W5N- Cannibal outclassed again… … Cannibal outclassed again -W5N- Wolf torn apart by metaphorical wolf -W5N- Nation’s saving grace saved in bed pan -W5N- First letter of news scroll turns out to be a code… …first letter of news scroll turns out to be a code. Kids decipher -W5N- How much more type do we need to fill the news crawl? -W5N- War heralded as triumph for the unlikely -W5N- Diversity training turns into bloody brawl -W5N- MC Blood Clot dies… … Diversity training turns into bloody brawl -W5N- MC Blood Clot dies of irony -W5N- Washington monument to be renamed God’s Biggest Boner -W5N- Monument’s new sanctity boulders just shot hot gobs of moral outrage into clear American sky -W5N- Hick drowns in scalding gob of own disapproval… … gobs of moral outrage into clear American sky -W5N- Hick drowns in scalding gob of own disapproval -W5N- Courts to rule on legality of Number and Letter union -W5N- Tiger found trapped…

Episode 3 news ticker

hossua34 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 17:28:00 GMT

-OCEAN-

Welcome to the fastest and most impossible-to-read edition of the news ticker.

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…Littlest Senator yet -W5N- Restaurant themed Bar opens inside Arcade themed Prison. A “hamburger” is a martini, a “quarter” is an ass pounder -W5N- 868 billion corpses found rotting behind dumpster in heaven -W5N- Italy caught totally making out with Denmark, Finnish on Sweden’s belly -W5N- Kooky Numbskull admits he is actually a Beloved Knucklehead -W5N- Rabbi balls deep in Torah to eat body puck out of band teacher’s backup patron’s tuchas -W5N- Thug Duke knighted and fighted -W5N- Test tube baby buried in test tube coffin -W5N- Beloved Knucklehead confesses he is actually frog rapist/cherished Nimrod Admitter -W5N- Disco Bubby sues Techno Nana in Jungle Caca Trance -W5N- Vaccine for “Salty Jowl Disorder” in form of Salted Jowl flavored hoagie -W5N- Micro-Biologist unveils pants -W5N- Freedom shoved up Lebanese Duck’s rump -W5N- Carrot wakes up with nipples for teeth…

Episode 2 news ticker

hossua34 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 03:53:00 GMT

-SPACE-

This one moves faster, but I was still able to read it on my computer's DVD player slow-mo function. More to come.

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… named Lou produces plump of chili. -W5N- Explosion of planet earth a “setback for national economy” according to vested officials. -W5N- Catholic church approves condom flavored breath mints. -W5N- Multinational conglomerate CoCOR teams with CIA to introduce grape soda flavored crack to black community. –W5N- White Wine Strangler captured, found chanting “You’ll love it you’ll love it.” Three died -W5N- No hobo news today. -W5N- Secret files released exposing CoCOR’s involvement in [CENSORED] -W5N- Fart played off as burp. -W5N- Poll: 87% of people of the Caucasian persuasion got it going on. -W5N- World’s oldest ostrich performs world’s oldest profession…

Episode 1 news ticker

hossua34 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 03:45:00 GMT

-BIRTH-

The first appearence of that crazy-ass news ticker, and it runs nice and slow... by Wonder Showzen standards anyhow. The station name was changed to W5N for subsequent episodes.

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… expected from the Palestinians. -WSN- The peace treaty between Hippos and Snakes was broken. -WSN- A suicide Hippo has jumped into a pit of vipers with a butt bomb up his rump. -WSN- Severe retaliations… … expected from the Palestinians. -WSN- The peace treaty between Hippos and Snakes was broken. -WSN- A suicide Hippo has jumped into a pit of vipers with a butt bomb up his rump. -WSN- Severe retaliations expected from the Palestinians...